Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Today I'm going to be radically honest with you.
[00:00:06] I finally decided to enroll in a Media Addicts Anonymous group. This is the first time I've ever joined a 12 step group.
[00:00:24] And I actually feel profoundly liberated about it, actually, which is quite surprising. I thought I would feel weird about it, but actually it's a relief because while I may not have the symptoms of like a serious, serious addict, it's not, it's not like my life is wrecked because I'm binge watching like Netflix all day long every day and can't get anything done.
[00:00:54] But nonetheless, if I tell myself that I am not going to check social media, or I'm not going to watch YouTube, or I'm not going to watch a movie, or I'm not going to check the news, right, If I say that to myself and then I find myself doing one of those things compulsively as a way of distracting myself from my work or from what I'm doing or from what I'm feeling.
[00:01:24] And if I can't stop doing that, even if I say I'm not going to do it, even if it's not like a big deal and it doesn't wreck my life, just the fact that I can't stop doing it whenever I want means that there's an addiction that is beyond my control.
[00:01:49] And I've been managing this for years and years and years. I've been aware this has been a problem for a long time.
[00:01:58] I created a website on this and I have a course on this actually about the dangers of media and how it affects us on many, many levels. And social media, what is it doing to our mind, what it's doing to our society, our relationships, our productivity. So I mean, I'm highly, highly aware of this and I have all this content, that's why I'm doing this podcast.
[00:02:20] But I never personally was willing to receive help until this morning.
[00:02:35] And the reason I did this is because I was about to go on a meditation retreat where I'm presenting something in the retreat with all the first spiritual teachers.
[00:02:47] And the night before I was feeling slightly restless because I was working so hard and I had so much going on in my life and I had all these unfinished projects and I was feeling overwhelmed and, and I blocked. I'd been blocking the Internet so I can't, couldn't go on to YouTube or the news. Like I had an app blocker that blocks all the different websites. So even if I want to watch something, I can't do it.
[00:03:16] But then I figured a way around it, right? So I downloaded Amazon Prime, Amazon video, because I have Amazon prime for buying stuff.
[00:03:26] And so instead, instead of watching like a YouTube video, I ended up watching a movie. I think, I think I watched some movie by Edward Norton called the Illusionist, which is about some magician and something. And you know, it's like, these are interesting movies. I like watching movies. They're interesting to watch, right? They're really well done. And I find it fascinating.
[00:03:48] However, I'm trying to prepare to leave on a retreat and I'm watching a two hour movie and then I watched part of another movie. And the reason for all this ultimately is because I'm not feeling quite right.
[00:04:01] I don't want to do meditation because it's hard work. I don't want to do my work because I can't focus on it because I'm about to leave.
[00:04:11] Certain feelings are coming up, there's all this stuff happening, and in order to avoid it, I'd rather just press a button and go into another world.
[00:04:22] And long story short, I woke up the day I was supposed to leave on a plane to go on this retreat and I felt unwell. I woke up with like a really sore throat, feverish symptoms, and I, I thought, now this is a sign that this, I'm not supposed to go. You know, I don't want to go.
[00:04:42] Something's off here, right?
[00:04:45] I didn't want to let people down. But then again, I didn't feel like I was in the right place. And if I was sick, I wouldn't want to make other people sick. You know how it is if you go somewhere and you're not well and other people get sick. It's just like. So I thought this is a sign.
[00:04:57] So I decided just to take the time just to have a personal retreat, stay home.
[00:05:04] I turned everything off.
[00:05:07] And the next day I woke up, had a good night's rest, and I had the whole day without any Internet, without any work, not doing anything right. Just like took the whole day off, did meditation, meditation, meditation.
[00:05:19] And I felt so good, so good. It feels like coming out of jail.
[00:05:27] It's like coming back to my original journey, joy and my original freedom. And I'm like, this is. How is. This is my natural state to be feeling completely liberated and being aware of the moment. I went on walks, you know, touching the trees and like being aware of the beautiful nature. Because I live in a beautiful place up in the mountains in Sedona. And so there's just like, I had just a magical day of like hours of Meditation, walking, nature, you know, just being at home without any pressure, not doing any work, not using the computer, not doing anything. Right. Just totally offline.
[00:06:05] And as I was walking around, I thought, there must be a group of people who have a problem with wasting their time online.
[00:06:17] There's got to be. It can't just be me. And so I was thinking, I have to create a group. That's what I thought. I mean, if there is, that's nice. But they're probably, I don't know. So if there isn't, I'll create one myself. And I was thinking, what am I gonna have to do to create a group? And who's gonna be interested in how we're gonna get in touch with these people? And so then the next morning I woke up and I had my phone in this box. I have this K safe. You can get them on Amazon where you lock, you can lock your phone. And I unplug the Internet and the plug for the Internet so it doesn't work. And the phone put it in there and I set it for like 12 hours, 15 hours.
[00:06:53] And so when I woke up, had a nice long morning. Then, then the KSAFE opened. So I checked my phone because I'm running a company, right? I have to check stuff, any.
[00:07:04] And, and I thought, let me see if there's something like this around. And I went on to AI and said, where is there anything like this? And there's two groups, Media Addicts Anonymous and some, it's some like Tech and Media Anonymous or something like that. I haven't checked it out.
[00:07:22] So I went on there, I looked at the website, I was like, oh my God, this is, this exists. And then I went on there and they had these meetings.
[00:07:31] Oh, all right, there's an open meeting that you can go to. And I downloaded a bunch of stuff, went on the meeting and it was, it was, I was amazed, right, because it's very spiritual. I mean, I, I'm a meditation teacher. I teach meditation. Spiritual coaching, right? So I'm like, this is actually very, very like the way it is read. And the 12 step movement is a very high level teaching. David Hawkins is a spiritual teacher and he has this map of consciousness and he calibrates the AA groups or the NA groups or the 12 step groups, just generally speaking, 12 steps at the level of unconditional love.
[00:08:21] Because people are just showing up honestly open to receive help from a higher power. And the lesson that was read was about allowing a higher power.
[00:08:33] And I, I felt so much love.
[00:08:37] And I, I Genuinely felt like in a state of unconditional love pretty much the whole session.
[00:08:46] Because when, when we're tapped into what's going on, really that's what it is. There's unconditional love.
[00:08:58] So I went to the group and I was like, this is, this is great. And it was, it was very humbling and touching to be around other people who have raised their hand that, yes, I am powerless over the, you know, the media stuff, right?
[00:09:15] We live in a world that is completely media saturated. I mean, if you think about it, right, People spend hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours on media.
[00:09:27] Millions and billions of people.
[00:09:30] So this is, this is not like there's this hand handful of people who just happen to spend time on media and like addicted and everyone else is fine. We're living in like a massive, massive media addiction overall.
[00:09:44] And I thought it was just so fabulous that, that there's people willing to admit that it's a problem and not just willing to admit it to themselves, but willing to admit it to God, to themselves, to other people and to show up for a group and like, be there to support others.
[00:10:07] And so it for me was, this was happened today, right? I mean, this is, this is like 9 o' clock at night and I, I was lying in bed getting an early rest and I couldn't sleep because it's hot here, it's summertime, it's got a hot all of a sudden and it's hard to sleep because it's hot.
[00:10:29] And so I thought, let me just do this session to remind me of this and just to share because it was, it's just incredible, frankly.
[00:10:41] I've been wanting to free myself from this thing for years and years and I make progress.
[00:10:52] I can, I can put my Internet stuff in a box and once it's in the box and it's locked, I feel profound relief. And I actually don't care. I'm not, I'm not like, I've never broken the box, right? If I was that addicted to it, like genuinely, I would smash the box and turn it on and watch a movie. But once it's in the box, I feel profound relief. I'm like, I don't even need it. I don't really want to watch that stuff. What happens to me is that I do work. I'm working on a project and I'm doing something I don't like or I'm waiting for something. It always happens when I'm waiting. I'm trying to upload something I have to wait for someone who's like, getting back on something or whatever, right?
[00:11:32] And I'm not feeling quite right in my brain because I'm tired looking all these screens and all this endless tedious nonsense. And during that period when I'm waiting, I'm like, well, let me. Might as well just watch a YouTube video or watch some funny little thing while I'm waiting. So then I check this thing and then it goes on and on and on and on and on and on. Because watching that stuff is much more interesting to me than doing some of the tedious work that I have to do. Most of my work I enjoy, and most of my work I can do offline.
[00:12:10] But when I am online, I tend to feel tired because of it.
[00:12:17] And when I'm tired, that's when the, the kind of addiction kicks in and I want to get something back. I always feel like I deserve, I deserve to watch a video after I have to put up with all this nonsense. That's how I feel.
[00:12:33] But then it gets out of hand and then I'm not doing what I should be doing.
[00:12:38] So this is. It's like going into a trance state. Like I'm aware of what happens, I feel fine. Then I go online, then I get tired, then I get. Then I want relief from the tiredness.
[00:12:50] And because I'm already there and I'm waiting for something and I can't get away from it, I might as well do this other thing. And then because I do that other thing, it makes me more tired. And then it just goes on and on and on. And then more time goes by and nothing has been really resolved and I feel worse.
[00:13:09] So that's what I've been dealing with basically. And my only solution to it has been put it in, put it off, put it in a box and get rid of it. Then I feel fine. But then it doesn't solve the actual issue because I have an online company and I have to go back and check things.
[00:13:24] And then it all happens again.
[00:13:26] So I'm hyper aware of what's going on, but I haven't been able to solve the issue. And today was the first day when I just said, look, just get some help. Just, just get some help. So I even reached out to some of the people in the group was like, who wants, you know, if you want to have someone contact you or whatever, just. So I sent some messages out to people and I, I've just like they felt good to me to, to receive help and to be of support in that way, you know, I spend so much time doing coaching to other people and I have clients and I have groups and I have all this stuff that I do. So I've spent years and years and years helping people.
[00:14:08] And it's a really humbling and also very lovely just to receive help from other people, courageous souls who are willing to acknowledge some of these issues and face them directly with love and compassion and humility, honesty.
[00:14:30] So this is really just my confession, I suppose. I'm not quite sure what to call it, but I have this, this training, Digital Detox training or Freedom now is what I called it originally. But I'm thinking of turning this podcast into a Media Addicts Anonymous type of support group podcast because it's already, it's already designed for people who recognize the dangers of being online anyway. But I wasn't aware there wasn't even a group. In fact, when I created this, this, these audios, I created this whole training in 2017.
[00:15:09] This group that I'm now part of that I just died today was only created in 2020. Right. So three years later, before this even existed.
[00:15:20] Like I've been aware this is an issue since at least 2012.
[00:15:25] And there wasn't an A type 12 step group like this that I'm aware of until 2025. Right. I didn't even know that. I didn't even consider it.
[00:15:37] So my feeling is that this is just going to get more and more extreme. I was talking to someone about this in the health food store today, that this latest generation, like the younger kids, they're completely addicted to this stuff. I mean, I talk to parents all the time and they're little, little kids like one year, two years, three years.
[00:15:57] They're iPad addicts already at that age. Right?
[00:16:04] And iPads are highly, highly addictive compared to like TV and they're video games and social media. So like this is probably going to be the biggest 12 step group in the future.
[00:16:21] You know, like this is, this is where it's all going.
[00:16:25] So I wanted to turn this, this conversation that I've been having and thinking about since, since 2012 really, or even before then, I was aware of it.
[00:16:40] I first became aware of these things which I talk about in my book and in this course, which is all free and you can get it all here.
[00:16:48] I was first aware of it when I was actually texting somebody and like in 2001 or something, right? When it was just text messages like these old Nokia phones and even that was a problem, right? That, that isn't media technically in the sense it wasn't like TV or any of that, but just, just like being online, connecting with loads of people, this and that, this and that, that wasn't a bad enough problem back then. And it's just as things got more sophisticated, got more and more and more addictive and more and more difficult to get out of.
[00:17:29] And it's hardcore.
[00:17:36] It's really hardcore. I mean, I was thinking about it today, just. Just the idea of going 30 days without any media at all at this point. Like today is day one, right? I mean, I suppose it's day three, because I already was doing a couple days, but just thinking about no media at all, which means no social media, known YouTube, no movies, no news, no. I'm not sure whether or not I'm going to cut podcasts out because, I mean, I use that for my business, but that might be good to cut that out as well.
[00:18:20] Music to me not have. Because I listen to like relaxing music, jazz and do you know, to me that seems tad extreme not having any music.
[00:18:32] But, but Even those things, YouTube movies, social media, news, just cutting that out for 30 days comes across as slightly extreme. The fact that I think it's extreme seems.
[00:18:58] Seems that's the fact that I feel it's an extreme thing tells me that I must be addicted to it because I don't think it's extreme not to have cocaine for 30 days. You know, I mean, like, I don't have cocaine.
[00:19:13] I'm not, I don't drink alcohol, right? I'm.
[00:19:16] So the, the idea of not having a drink or not having cocaine or not having heroin, do you know, I mean, I'm not smoking cigarettes for 30. I'm like, well, of course, why would you do that anyway?
[00:19:27] So there's loads of things I just don't do.
[00:19:30] I don't think they're extreme. I think that's just common sense. But when I think, oh yeah, but how could I go without, without any of these media things for 30 days, that seems extreme. Obviously I got an issue here.
[00:19:42] If I think I can't check social media for 30 days or indefinitely, never check social media, and I think that's extreme, what does that tell me about my mindset? That I must be dependent on it, otherwise I wouldn't think that.
[00:20:03] So I recognize that I'm obviously rambling here. I didn't think this through. This is just me being honest, humble public confession and, and also just this is my savor, my service to others who have also struggled with this, that I'm going to Share whatever I learn and any tips, any ideas, my experience in the hope that helps you liberate yourself.
[00:20:44] And I'm sure you understand what it's like to. To feel free and how wonderful it feels.
[00:20:51] I've been aware of this for years and years and years. And I go from feeling completely free and so happy that I'm liberated from all this stuff, and then I get back into it and then I get tired and then I want to check this stuff and I feel bad, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:21:06] And I don't want that anymore.
[00:21:09] I want to be permanently liberated because I am a spiritual being and I am here to be alive and not to be a slave to a screen. That's not what I'm here for. It's not any of us are here for.
[00:21:28] We got a wonderful life to live.
[00:21:36] So thank you for listening.
[00:21:39] I'll let you know how it goes.
[00:21:43] I.
[00:21:44] I actually did a media detox about a week ago and I managed four days. What happens for me is that I. The first day, which is. Which is recently, right? I just did this. I've done this many, many times. The first couple days are super easy. He's in grace.
[00:22:05] And come somewhere around the fourth day, that's when the, the itch, the itchy, itchy itch comes. Oh, it's like. Or something feels off, right? I'm just giving me that little something, to be perfectly honest. Today I went to the store, right? And then I came back and I checked the mail and there was a magazine like a, Like a news slash culture magazine, which I suppose you could say is sort of like a little bit like the news, but in magazine form.
[00:22:44] It. It's.
[00:22:46] And has cartoons in it and stuff like that.
[00:22:49] And it wasn't technically media.
[00:22:53] Look, I'm making excuses already.
[00:22:55] So I looked at it and it sort of soothed anish in itch because I was reading about interesting things and I noticed it had an effect on me just absorbing. I read like one article and I read some of the cartoons, then I chucked it out.
[00:23:14] And so I. I'm not sure whether or not that's technically a failure or not, because I'm not. I'm not like I need to decide what my standards are here, right?
[00:23:29] But there's something going on there. So it's easy, easy, easy. And then it would get a little bit of an itch and then. And then normally I crumble somewhere around four or five days in, right? And so I'm gonna. I have to. This is going to be difficult for Me, I'm just being honest. It's gonna definitely going to be, I'm not cursing myself, I'm just from past experience, there's, there's going to be a breakthrough that happens and if I, if I could be in a situation where I, where I was away from media permanently and I didn't have to check any, any media ever, right, let's imagine someone else managed all my online stuff and they gave me plane tickets and booked everything for me, which, which could be set up.
[00:24:17] If I had that all set up, it would probably be a bit easier actually. But it's because I'm dipping into it every day because of my work.
[00:24:31] Then it's like, I like to give the example.
[00:24:35] The modern media landscape is a bit like having an office that is inside of a custom designed casino.
[00:24:44] So you have to walk through this casino that has all the funny stuff that you personally are most interested in and you have to walk through all of it, the whole maze of it, before you get to your office and then you have to walk back out through all of that to get out of the office because the algorithms are set up that way.
[00:25:07] When we check our phone or we go online, it's, it's like got all the most highly addictive stuff for us. It knows what we want to watch. Do you know what I mean? Like if, like, if you're interested in science, it's going to show you all the science stuff. If you're interested in comedy, it's got just the funniest stuff, right? Whatever social media stuff you click on it gives you more of it. So if we never had to check any of it ever, then we wouldn't have the triggers, trigger, trigger, trigger, trigger, trigger to have to deal with, right? That would be easier. But dipping in, going through the casino to get to the office and then going back out of the concierge is a, frankly a pain in the ass really. I'm sure they'll get to, maybe they'll get to a point where it doesn't bother me anymore, but I'm not there yet. And, and I'll have to see how, how this all pans out in the future. I, I've done two weeks or three weeks has been the maximum I've managed ever. So this is going to be very interesting to see if I can pull off 30 days straight and, and then permanently. Because like people even send me, like I get sent YouTube videos to watch on WhatsApp by people all the time. Oh, there's this new video about this new AI thing going on. And there's this thing going on here.
[00:26:28] Check out this fun little video about frogs, you know, like so.
[00:26:37] And you might have noticed like when I go on, on hikes, because I go out for a walk all the time, what I notice a lot of people. What are they? What are people actually talking about?
[00:26:47] Because I'm often meditating and then people walk past and I notice what they're saying.
[00:26:52] I've noticed that most conversations are about things happening online nowadays.
[00:27:01] Isn't that interesting? Most real life conversations, people are talking about things that are happening online.
[00:27:09] So like, oh, so and so went on this trip and I saw this thing on Facebook or on Instagram or. And this looked good, cool. I watched this movie about this thing. Or did you see that video about. Blah, blah. That's what people talking about.
[00:27:21] So the media landscape has taken over the physical world, not the other way around a lot of the time.
[00:27:29] So anyway, I'm definitely rambling here. I apologize if this has been a bit all over the place because it's just a stream of consciousness and I have not achieved the success I want at this point. I'm getting started. I can feel some level of restlessness already and I'm definitely not new to this. This is just. This is just taking seriously something that I've had on my mind and my heart for 10 years and longer.
[00:28:05] And I will let you know how I do. So thanks so much. Wishing you every success and your wonderful freedom.
[00:28:12] Thank you, thank you, thank you. Lots of love.
[00:28:15] Talk to you soon.
